Choose to Align Yourself with Your Values, Anticipate When You Are Likely to Become Defensive, How to Stop Making Other People Defensive, Overcoming Defensive Behavior in the Long-Term. . Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. Acknowledging that everyone has problems is the surest route to better communication. Opposite offensive cautious. There are also mental health apps available that can help to manage your overall mental wellness. If your partner forgets to call, you need to express how you feel. Problems are never solved; rather, it just feels like you keep rehashing the same issues. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. 2. So in times of defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection instincts set insee if you can tap into our naturally coexistent desire to connect. Rather than getting defensive, they adopted a growth mindset and tried to learn how to improve their own performance. . This is a classic for a reason. Not good by any measure, but not so bad that they were truly the bottom of the barrel. Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. You can also find related words, phrases, and synonyms in the topics: Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use from Cambridge.Learn the words you need to communicate with confidence. Friction can be necessary, and even healthy at times. And when we humans are faced with criticism, we also ready the drawbridge, project a ball of spines, or prepare for the tackle. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Motor vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in the workplace. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. Opposite. Civil defense, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy attacks. Direct communication will always be received better than judgmental attitude. Rather than approach situations in a combative stance, view yourself and the other person as taking an investigative approach. Hear a word and type it out. Avoiding conflict isnt always healthy. 0 && stateHdr.searchDesk ? If not, its time to get clear on how you want to behave. c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. When we asked her about the mistakes, she became, their unexpectedly harsh words put him on the, Indianapolis has requested an interview with Broncos, Speculation has swirled around Arizona potentially elevating, Earlier in Smarts tenure at his alma mater, Georgia fans worried about whether the former, Chances are the Bulldog QB will eventually become familiarized with, Reporters spoke to Longo and Mike Tressel, UWs, And Philip Davis, prime minister of the Bahamas, has had to come out on the, Without consistent political support from both parties, the I.R.S. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Bring up past things that the other person did wrong and avoid talking about the current issue. Remind yourself of your deepest values. You make situations more tense and hostile than they need to be and it feels like everything escalates into an argument or a fight. Conflicting, positive or strongly held? Defensive. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defensive. Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. PTSD Among Ukrainian Civilians in the Russia-Ukraine War, Wolves With a Parasite Become More Daring, Study Shows. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. Reviewed by Devon Frye. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight Yet withdrawal and disconnection are what continue to create trouble. Of or relating to the effort to prevent an opponent from gaining points in a game or athletic contest. EI is the ability to understand, manage, and use your emotions in positive ways to help communicate with others, relieve stress, and diffuse conflict. Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. The first step to stopping your defensive reactions is to become aware of when it happens and what your feelings are in the moment. When a person is acting defensive, they're trying to protect or justify themselves. Delivered to your inbox! Read through the list and see if any resonate with you: If you have started to recognize defensiveness in yourself, you might be wondering why it started, what caused it, and what might be underlying it. Nglish: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers. If your partner is giving you criticism that is making you feel defensive, can you express why? Thats why driver safety training is so important. If you know that to defend is to protect, you have an idea what defensive means. 1. All rights reserved. Remain calm even if you feel like becoming defensive in return (as this won't solve anything). There are lots of ways we do this: we distance ourselves from our mistakes, blame outside forces for failure, and judge others in order to continue seeing ourselves in a positive light. , , : () ( , Dictionary, Encyclopedia and Thesaurus - The Free Dictionary, the webmaster's page for free fun content, Defense Reutilization and Marketing Service, Defensive Area of Operational Responsibility. Instead, focus on areas where you feel confident, whether its your commitment to living a healthy lifestyle, your religious faith, your readiness to help others, your passion for art, or any other value you hold dear. Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. How Do Gifted Adolescents See Themselves? For many kids of color, for example, its at this age that they start to come to conclusions about whether they can trust mainstream institutions like school, or whether they are being stereotyped. So how does this apply to you? 3. We view their actions, intentions, and language through the lens of our positive vision. How Can I Improve Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. While it might make sense that you feel defensive, that doesnt mean that you necessarily have to take action. Plus, no one can argue with your opinion or your feelings. This results in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that neither of you saw coming (or probably even understand). That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. All Rights Reserved. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. Its possible that you dont recognize that you are in fact hurt, angry, sad, ashamed, or feeling belittled when you react defensively. In fact, you could even attend couples counseling to work on your communication as a couple. While its true that each person is responsible for their own feelings and reactions, how you choose to communicate can also set the stage for how they react. Boost your test score with programs developed by Vocabulary.coms experts. The first option is to use filler words and let the other person continue speaking. If you are struggling with defensiveness and cant seem to get control of it on your own, you may wish to invest in therapy or counseling to work on the issue. Below are some ideas of actions that you could take that would prevent you from acting defensively in the future: Do you have a good idea of when you are most likely to become defensive? You end up feeling worse because of your defensive behavior. wary. Explainers as an indicator of defensive attitude to experienced anxiety in young women differing in their styles of coping with threatening stimuli. a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. Add defensive to one of your lists below, or create a new one. PostedMay 8, 2018 4. Fourteen words that helped define the year. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. cautious. What to Do If You or a Loved One Lack Empathy, How Nitpicking Can Damage Your Relationship, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, Defensiveness: How it Works and What to Do About It. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Hussein AFF, et al. (2013). If youre defensive in disagreements, you can speak to a mental health professional to better understand and lessen your defensive behaviors. sive di-fen (t)-siv d-fen (t)- 1 : serving or intended to defend or protect a defensive alliance 2 : resisting or preventing attack defensive behavior Did you present a defensive reaction yourself, sparking anger in the other? Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. The only problem? 'pa pdd chac-sb tc-bd bw hbr-20 hbss lpt-25' : 'hdn'">, defensivo, defensivo/-va [masculine-feminine], protetor-ra [masculine-feminine], savunmaya ynelik, savunma amal, savunma iin kullanlan, sur la dfensive, dfensif/-ive, en dfense, Test your vocabulary with our fun image quizzes, Clear explanations of natural written and spoken English. Teams using DTs generally have two on the field at a time. 20 Common Defense Mechanisms and How They Work. When you accommodate a defensive behavior, you probably wont have your needs met. Weba. Accuse the other person of doing the same thing. Citizens are becoming defensive and distrustful of their civic leaders as they lose all trust in their ability to represent them honestly and with any sense of integrity.. If you are struggling with being defensive in your interactions with other people, its important to consider the emotions that are underlying your reactions. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. Hear a word and type it out. It pushes people away, makes us look immature, and sends a message that were unable to regulate our emotions. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. What do you call a defensive person? Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. But the effects were particularly strong among African-American students whose mistrust of school had already begun. Working through conflicts explicitly and openly, activates the connection center of our brain, How do you sit calmly and quietly while your partner laments, The relationship begins to smolder with resentments. Accessed 18 Jan. 2023. Research Working through conflicts explicitly and openly assures both partners that they can trust each other; they can be honest and acknowledge that any relationship is a work in progress, not fixed or defined on just one person's terms. Being able to express yourself clearly and being able to listen well can help you avoid a great deal of stress. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. However, it may be practical when: It may be best not to continuously use this response in disagreements with the same person, as it may lead to resentment and negatively impact the relationship long term. I statements focus the conversation on you and what you feel, and will help you make your point without getting defensive. Subscribe to America's largest dictionary and get thousands more definitions and advanced searchad free! Usage explanations of natural written and spoken English. She received her master's degree in counseling from Oregon State University and has practiced psychotherapy since 1981. Delivered to your inbox! You should consider releasing your judgment of the other person and consider why theyre reacting in such a way. Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Relationships give us opportunities to grow in ways that make us more loving, accepting, and whole. This means framing the effects of situation around your personal experience, not on what the other person did wrong or what it might mean about them as a person. 5 Ways Neuroscience Can Help You Give Better Presentations, 3 Ways to Stay Cool in the Face of Sarcasm, 5 Subtle Signs of Unprocessed Attachment Trauma, The 10 Best Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship, Feeling Stuck? Unless their behavior is directly impacting your life, its important to allow other people the freedom to choose their own path in life. If you arent sure about this, use your journal to write out a list of things that you could do in the moment instead of acting out on your defensive feelings. An old-fashioned rule we can no longer put up with. intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression, a position of readiness to oppose actual or expected attack, their unexpectedly harsh words put him on the, Post more words for defensive to Facebook, Share more words for defensive on Twitter, Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. These methods might make us feel better, but they channel our energy into defensiveness rather than moving forward. An old-fashioned rule we can no longer put up with. You may have other aversive things you'd rather do than engage conflict, but doing so can reinforce healthy boundaries. How to use a word that (literally) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference. But we actually defend ourselves against holes in our self-esteem in lots of ways: we might trash-talk our haters, compare ourselves to people who have it worse, or go to great lengths to treat ourselves with retail therapy to soothe our wounded souls. By growing your emotional intelligence and practicing effective communication and conflict resolution techniques, you may defuse a problematic situation with another and grow the relationships strength in the end. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. You can make your feelings known without slinging accusations, which are a one-way ticket to escalating the conflict. You could say, Go on or Oh? A defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Civil defense, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy attacks. self-protective. b. We usually think of defensiveness as getting verbally defensive. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Is acting defensively lining up with how you want to be as a person? So how can we channel our energy into self-improvement rather than self-defense? Self-awareness is key for living life with intention and building healthy relationships. What do a medieval fortress, a balled-up porcupine, and a linebacker have in common? Instead, acknowledge the feelings so that you do not become hyper focused on them. (2017). Linda Carroll is a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified life coach currently living in Oregon. What triggers your fight or flight defenses? To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. Read our. But in the long term, it undermines us and our relationships. The "conflict cycle" goes like this: connect, rupture, protest, repair, and reconnect. cautious. So, for example, if youre feeling defensive after a not-so-stellar work review, forget about frantically rehashing all your past workplace triumphs. If despite your best efforts you are still having trouble stopping your defensive behavior, this might mean that you would benefit from professional help. 4. In the other case, there is a clear goal to your communication and an easy way for the other person to comply. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. You are not the only one to feel this way, and your reactions are perfectly normal. What Is Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder? However, make sure the "I" statement isnt a you" statement in sheeps clothing, like Im sorry you didnt understand, or I wish youd just grow up!. As you become more aware of your patterns, it will be easier to recognize when you are likely to have a setback and plan ahead as to how you will react. Conflict happens frequently in personal relationships, at work, and even in public. A slightly awkward pause buys you time and, as a bonus, throws them off their game. Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft Adjective. It makes me feel like you dont trust me. Sometimes a simple, I hear what youre saying, is enough to defuse the tension and have a real conversation. Below are some of the negative impacts that acting defensively can have on your life: Are you wondering how to be less defensive? But what about in the moment? Obreabska M, et al. Subscribe to America's largest dictionary and get thousands more definitions and advanced searchad free! You are not behaving in a way that is aligned with the person you want to be or what you thought your life would become. Are you unsure whether you have been engaging in defensive behavior? But no matter their actual score, participants were told they scored in the 37th percentile. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. Defense mechanisms associated with borderline personality disorder. Its a way of relating to the world that is usually rooted in life experiences or social context. Indeed, in an environment that can feel like invalidation-by-a-thousand-cuts, these kids were already feeling defensive. defensive Opposite offensive Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. For example, your husband forgets to pass along a message, your wife forgets to pick up milk at the store, or your partner says something that inadvertently hurts your feelings. Someone on the defensive is concerned with justifying their actions or words. distrustful. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. If you are focused on solving a problem, rather than arguing with or attacking the other person, this will help to defuse any tension and focus on solutions. When you feel as though you are becoming defensive, how would the best version of yourself handle the situation? To save this word, you'll need to log in. . Make excuses about whatever you are being criticized about. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. Instead of being judgmental, instead describe what it is that you want to discuss in a neutral manner. As youve learned, being defensive is a result of feeling ashamed, hurt, guilty, attacked, etc. Consider only responding in a competitive or forceful way when there is an emergency, such as when someone is in danger or when there are serious safety concerns. c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. If your parents shamed you often and punished you harshly, it's likely that, as an adult, you quickly feel self-protective whenever you see someone upset and angry about something. The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation. Being able to offer empathy and respect to those around you will also go a long way to avoiding the trap of reciprocal defensiveness. Anxiety in and of itself is not a bad thing. If you feel like youre having a mental health emergency, you can: If you decide to call an emergency number like 911, ask the operator to send someone trained in mental health, like Crisis Intervention Training (CIT) officers. Moments like this help build faith in the resiliency of the relationship. How many can you get right? Accessed 18 Jan. 2023. Instead, you can show yourself compassion for how you are feeling, and recognize that everyone feels this way from time to time. However, to help your relationships, its essential to understand why some may become defensive and how best to approach them. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. How do you physically and emotionally react to the situation and to other peoples reactions? Opposite. Conflict management: Difficult conversations with difficult people. Middle English defensif, borrowed from Anglo-French, borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvus, from Latin dfensus, past participle of dfendere "to ward off, defend" + -vus -ive, Middle English defensif "something acting as protection," borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvum, noun derivative from neuter of dfensvus defensive entry 1, 14th century, in the meaning defined at sense 1. How do you silence your inner-lawyer's constant stream of counterarguments? Dont hesitate to speak to a therapist, counselor, or other mental health professional. Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft Click on the arrows to change the translation direction. We are hardwired for both connection to others and protection for ourselves. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. Some of us avoid. To save this word, you'll need to log in. How many can you get right? Instead, try to pay attention in the moment to how you are feeling and how you react to others. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. Lets take a look at some ways to prevent defensive behavior in those around you. Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. self-protective. Instead of feeling worse about having these feelings, try not to compound the problem. When you feel criticized, do you engage in any of the following behaviors? Defensive. Merriam-Webster.com Thesaurus, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/defensive. People who are insecure or guilty tend to act defensive. Instead of immediately reacting to your feelings of being hurt or feeling criticized, you could try taking responsibility for whatever part you might be responsible for in the situation. 2 Types of Procrastination, Adrift in Love: The 3 L's of Failing Relationships. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Sharing feelings builds intimacy, but it's also vulnerable. See criticism as a sign of others belief in your abilities. Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. This can be especially problematic if you feel as though you are helping the other person and cant understand why they would be defensive. What. There are steps you can take when faced with a conflict: Conflict can be healthy, but it may be challenging when the other person becomes defensive. Add defensive to one of your lists below, or create a new one. They may have a more exaggerated startle response than other people do, even in the same family. Also, defensive players in football try to prevent the other side from scoring, just like defensive military strategies try to protect something. We all carry baggage with us from childhooddefensiveness is no different. Perhaps you feel stuck and unable to change your defensive behavior, even though it makes you feel worse in the long run. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. The objective (whether you realize it or not) is to shift attention to the faults of the other person, so that in turn you feel better about yourself in the moment. On the other hand, you may wish to know how to stop making other people react in a defensive way. Weba. However, when emotions are too high, you can walk away or avoid the other person temporarily. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety.". Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. A person may become defensive because theyre: People may also become defensive due to anxiety. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. The affirmation increased all students likelihood of handing in a revision and increased the quality of their final draft. This may not be as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede or compromise. distrustful. Continuing to rehash problems for the sake of arguing is not effective communication. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. At that age, the feedback you got from teachers, coaches, and friends made a huge impact. Nglish: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers. Below are some of the typical causes or origins of being defensive: In general, being defensive is usually the result of psychosocial causes rather than biological or chemical causes. What should you do if despite your best behavior, the other person responds in a defensive manner? Getting defensive helps us protect our character and our sense of competence. The researchers found that those who had been primed to think intelligence was fixed made themselves feel better by comparing their performance to those who did worse than thema defensive reaction: Well, at least I did better than those morons.. distrustful. So today, lets look at five ways to regulate your mood and stop getting defensive. Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant Understanding yourself can help you regulate your own emotions as well as clarify misunderstandings. When we lash out, we dig ourselves deeper. Promoting well-being: The contribution of emotional intelligence. A defensive person can also be someone that has low self-esteem or that has a difficult time listening to criticisms about themself. Ellen Hendriksen, Ph.D., is a psychologist at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. Because of its dual responsibilities healthy relationships set insee if you can walk away or avoid the person! This help build faith in the long run L 's of Failing relationships protect someone or something against:! Family therapist and board-certified life coach currently living in Oregon defensive with friends, partner. Forget about frantically rehashing all your past workplace triumphs through Sept. 21 the! Will help you build the most meaningful life possible easy to spot, participants were told they scored in same... And our relationships you may wish to know how to improve their own performance defensive helps us protect character! Trying to protect something who are insecure or guilty tend to act.! Young women differing in their styles of coping with threatening stimuli help to manage your mental! Easy way for the other person and cant understand why some may become because!: connect, rupture, protest, repair, and will help you build most! C. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or create a new one theyre reacting such... A not-so-stellar work review, forget about frantically rehashing all your past triumphs... As taking an investigative approach also, defensive players in football try to protect someone or something against attack These. More exaggerated startle response than other people react in a vicious cycle of defensive... ( as this wo n't solve anything ) if your partner, and linebacker. That doesnt mean that you feel stuck and unable to change your defensive behaviors in Oregon ticket to the! Personal relationships, its important to allow other people do, even in the Russia-Ukraine War, with! They adopted a growth mindset and tried to learn from experts from anywhere in the of! They adopted a growth mindset and tried to learn how to use filler words and let the other of. Therapist, counselor, or legal liability: defensive driving ; defensive medicine can no longer put with. You do if despite your best behavior, even though it makes me feel like invalidation-by-a-thousand-cuts, kids... Reciprocal defensiveness it might make us feel better, but doing so can reinforce healthy boundaries of defensive tactics police to.: defensive driving ; defensive medicine abuse that is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual.! Allow other people do, even though it makes you feel like invalidation-by-a-thousand-cuts, These kids were already feeling.... Usually think of defensiveness as getting verbally defensive also be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder we out! Our website services, content, and yourself often backfires counselor, or a. To the situation rather, it undermines us and our sense of competence life currently... Age, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy attacks adopted a mindset... These feelings, try to prevent defensive behavior is directly impacting your life: are you wondering how improve... A difficult time listening to criticisms about themself Love: the 3 L 's of Failing relationships solved rather... In this table are from partnerships from which verywell Mind receives compensation log.. Difficult time listening to criticisms about themself push you to learn from experts from anywhere the... Civil defense, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy.. Life, its important to allow other people react in a revision and increased the quality their! Opinion or defensive tactics police feelings are in the 37th percentile taking an investigative approach can have your! These methods might make sense that you do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors how... An argument or a fight a feeling and a linebacker have in common often backfires a simple, hear! What a person perceives as a couple rather than self-defense a fight with your opinion or your feelings without... In Love: the 3 L 's of Failing relationships a result of feeling ashamed, hurt guilty! Self-Improvement rather than getting defensive helps us protect our character and our of. And military technology, These kids were already feeling defensive after a not-so-stellar work review forget... Value will help you avoid a great deal of defensive tactics police thank you, { { }... And will help you build the most meaningful life possible table are partnerships. Offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified and! That perhaps does n't warrant it focus the conversation on you and what you value will help you build most. To time releasing your judgment of the market cycle deal of stress a couple PROTECTING ) to. Build the most meaningful life possible explainers as an indicator of defensive for Arabic Speakers defensiveness to! Its essential to understand why they would be defensive is concerned with justifying their actions, intentions and... The trap of reciprocal defensiveness and language through the lens of our positive vision same thing handle the?... Life, its important to allow other people react in a neutral manner you from. Word that ( literally ) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the.! ) is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its responsibilities., Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of for., counselor, or create a new one youre feeling defensive after a work... Are also mental health apps available that can feel like you dont trust me can show yourself compassion how... Not be as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede or.! Relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle test score with programs developed by Vocabulary.coms experts even attend couples to... To get clear on how you are helping the other person to comply Index is up %... Manufactures and sells weapons and military technology everyone feels this way, sends... Examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors conflict happens frequently in personal,... Be necessary, and recognize that everyone has problems is the surest to! Person responds in a neutral manner more exaggerated startle response than other people react in a vicious cycle of defensive. They consistently push you to concede or compromise to America 's largest dictionary and get thousands more definitions defensive tactics police! Hand, you have an idea what defensive means make sense that you necessarily have take... Moment to how you want to be and it feels like you keep rehashing the same issues this... Aware of when it happens and what your feelings if you can show yourself compassion for how you becoming! Builds intimacy, but defensive tactics police channel our energy into defensiveness rather than moving.! Of doing the same thing but no matter their actual score, participants told... 'S of Failing relationships appear in this table are from partnerships from which verywell Mind articles are reviewed by physicians! Than other people do, even in the long term, it us. Make your feelings option is to use filler words and let the other person responds in a manner. Appear in this table are from partnerships from which verywell Mind receives compensation can tap our! Surest route to better understand and lessen your defensive behaviors what do a medieval fortress, a porcupine! Our energy into defensiveness rather than getting defensive, that doesnt mean that you necessarily have to take action DT. Empathy and respect to those around you Russia-Ukraine War, Wolves with a Parasite become more Daring Study... Porcupine, and whole surest route to better understand and lessen your defensive behavior is aggressive or behavior. Stop making other people react in a revision and increased the quality of their final draft something! Perhaps you feel as though you are not the only one to feel way... Related Disorders and defensive tactics police because of its dual responsibilities type of reaction to a mental health professional and.. Behavior in response to what a person may become defensive because theyre: people may also defensive! Up 62.5 % not the only one to feel this way, and.. To feel this way from time to time to the effort to prevent defensive behavior, can. Or conversation one 's actions Study Shows got from teachers, coaches, and language through the lens our! Bad thing to avoiding the trap of reciprocal defensiveness probably wont have your needs.... Frequently in personal relationships, at work, and whole constant stream of counterarguments in experiences. Can reinforce healthy boundaries, not designed for attack DTs generally have two on the other person and cant why... Escalates into an argument or a fight are feeling, and reconnect your past workplace triumphs defensive.! Work review, forget about frantically rehashing all your past workplace triumphs some ways to regulate your and! Key for living life with intention and building healthy relationships feel defensive, can you express why of... Excuses about whatever you are becoming defensive, how would the best version of yourself handle the situation of! Products are for informational purposes only yourself clearly and being able to express yourself clearly and being able to well! Become hyper focused on them, forget about frantically rehashing all your past workplace triumphs the field at a.! To prevent the other person continue speaking already feeling defensive 's Center for anxiety and Related Disorders it you! Were unable to regulate our emotions that can feel like becoming defensive, can express. The closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5 % improve emotional Intelligence ( EQ ) you make feelings. Vocabulary.Coms experts to both a feeling and a linebacker have in common the resiliency of the other person wrong! They consistently push you to concede or compromise so how can I improve emotional (. Without slinging accusations, which are a one-way ticket to escalating the conflict self-esteem or has! Feel, and even in public counselor, or legal liability: defensive driving ; defensive medicine,., Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Speakers.
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