I argued with my sister because (1) she seemingly changed her mind out of nowhere and as her SIBLING (not just a random guest at her wedding), I feel hurt. They now own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property. @keyframes _1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT{0%{opacity:0}to{opacity:1}}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc{--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left:0px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;padding:3px 9px;position:absolute;border-radius:4px;margin-top:-6px;background:#000;color:#fff;animation:_1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT .5s step-end;z-index:100;white-space:pre-wrap}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc:after{content:"";position:absolute;top:100%;left:calc(50% - 4px - var(--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left));width:0;height:0;border-top:3px solid #000;border-left:4px solid transparent;border-right:4px solid transparent}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd{margin-top:6px}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after{border-bottom:3px solid #000;border-top:none;bottom:100%;top:auto} They said they would pay for the shower. "To preface this, we only got engaged about 10 weeks ago and have plans for November 2021, but if there's still issues at the time we'll postpone." My exs motherand his father/stepmother treated me and my daughter like sh*t., Like, fawning over his daughter in front of mine (theyre the same age), buying her special gifts when we were out shopping, talking in glowing terms about his ex-fiance while in my home, and always raving/gushing about his baby mama in front of me., The last Christmas we spent together, his dad/stepmom gave his daughter some great gifts. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. This page may contain sensitive or adult content that's not for everyone. CareyHope/Getty Images. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. DesignerMedium9046 51 10m. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isnt entitled to this money, its seen more as the parents generous offer. The planning and arrangements can take their toll on anyone. She's very disappointed and things have been icy because they would have to put off getting a house together if they were to pay for the wedding and they still wouldn't be able to afford the wedding that they want. Or allow/support others doing the same. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Non refundable deposit, aren't. Hes 49 now, never been married, never lived with anyone., I think somehow his family likes him to remain the single one for some reason especially his mother so they idolized all his exes (theyre no longer threats to his bachelorhood!) And we're all happy with that! jar of homemade jelly to share., And this was after 4 Christmases of nothing being sent for me and my daughter., When we visited his dad/stepmom in Alaska no small trip dragging ourselves all the way up there to meet them! It was never expected that the couple would pay for our airfare or our hotel or our transportation. .ehsOqYO6dxn_Pf9Dzwu37{margin-top:0;overflow:visible}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu{height:24px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu{border-radius:2px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:focus,._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:hover{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10);outline:none}._38GxRFSqSC-Z2VLi5Xzkjy{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT{border-top:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);cursor:pointer;padding:8px 16px 8px 8px;text-transform:none}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT:hover{background-color:#0079d3;border:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body)} if she cant afford to come, then she cant come. 2 Reply DisgruntledPelican54 43 min. I have a feeling that the parents would do exactly that cos they seem like good decent people. And this is besides all of the other planning you need to do, like deciding on venues, dishes, churches, clothing styles, gift ideas and a bunch of other things. The creator of the site explained: We always say to couples that they should try and not put too much pressure on themselves from both a financial and an emotional perspective. Ive never been invited to wedding that included travel expenses. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. However the amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. AITA my future husband and I are restricting who makes a speech and for how long. "Also likely spread many rumors. I should also mention that they have been unemployed by choice for the last 13 months since they moved and have not looked for a job. Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? Something people would spend $40K on and walk away with no regret, just beautiful memories. I Crochet Miniature Animals, Birds And Other Creatures (30 Pics), Here Is A Collection Of 57 Mind-Boggling 3D Illusion Art Pieces By Kurt Wenner, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, 23 Y.O. Concerns were raised about the relationship. You are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event. Quite simply no one can afford for her to attend. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: Because my sister might not be coming to my wedding as a result of me refusing to pay for her ticket. ._2a172ppKObqWfRHr8eWBKV{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:8px}._39-woRduNuowN7G4JTW4I8{margin-top:12px}._136QdRzXkGKNtSQ-h1fUru{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:8px 0;width:100%}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_,._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{margin-left:auto}._1-25VxiIsZFVU88qFh-T8p{padding:0}._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor)} I've never heard about wedding guests expecting to have their travel expenses covered, nor their accommodation, if it can't be provided by the couple/family. My husband (32) and I (26) have been married for nearly 6 months. Who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay for their flights? I would not marry this man., Yeah the silence from him is alarmingly loud. Most people pay for their own weddings in the sense that guests don't actually pay for any part of it, so that's not really relevant. He doesnt like that we arent invited but hes not turning down a free vacation either., After she invited him and his boys and made all the plans and purchased tickets she told him shed pay for their accommodations but he had to help pay for everything else., He barely makes enough money to cover his own bills and his part of our shared bills (mortgage & utilities). I initially tried to talk to my Dad to explain that 1) these people were never planned on as part of the very limited guest count 2) My future husband's family is spending a fortune to travel from Brazil to the US to meet my family and that having a wedding full of my Dad's friends and their plus 5's will majorly distract from this 3) There are very close friends of mine that I can't invite because the venue only fits 75-80 people. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. We also have so little in common. They previously said they would pay for these things. If you've ever planned a wedding, you'll know the struggle of having to decide who gets invited, who gets to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, who is just there for the ceremony and whatnot. if you cant afford to foot her fare, then dont. In her post, Reasonable-Issue2334 told her older sister it was unfair that she didn't get the same "nurturing environment" growing up that her own children have. After it's AITA for not getting along with my sister in law? This sounds like it is months in advance so people like the dj and photographer have plenty of time to find a new gig. Run, OP. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. as long as you are both perfectly okay with her not coming, NTA. I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. What is your take on this situation? Finally it's AITA for not going to my best friend's sister's wedding? Yes. not always. Maid of honor calls out bride over her 'ridiculous' wedding rules: 'My fiance is not invited'. If you really want her there, then pay, otherwise she can stay at home. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Fast forward to now and the situation has completely changed and they said they now have the expectation that I will be paying for the shower and are trying to guilt me into paying for it saying that they are having financial issues and still not working. While generally nta in my opinion, the way he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs me the wrong way for whatever reason. You guys arent in the wrong and kudos to you for paying for your own wedding. We put this canyon fee on our invitations. So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. Image source: RosieBaker19. Crazy man's first impression was WAYY different from what he turned out to be and within 5 months they got engaged. He is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human. AITA for setting this boundary with them and properly setting their expectations. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. AITA? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. You're not obligated to fly family members in to attend your wedding, but if your family members can't afford to travel, understand that they might not come. .FIYolDqalszTnjjNfThfT{max-width:256px;white-space:normal;text-align:center} She needs to be a grownup and plan accordingly. "She ain't giving up without a MAJOR fight.". Especially when backing off is not an option? Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I don't think it has to be said but to be clear I completely understand that this was unforseen and a very stressful time for the both of them. The father revealed that their family had an agreement that the parents would give their children each $10K to be spent on the wedding or a down payment on their first home. I told her this and she's not too happy to say the least. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. Footing the bill again would severely affect many of our plans for the next year that we were saving up for. NTA~lotsofcache. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! AmItheAsshole PrimaryDiet5940 11520 G 2023-01-04 12:50:59 My son is getting married to a wonderful woman. My sister-in-law, who lives on the other side of the country, is upset that we won't pay for her ticket and is now refusing to come to the wedding. I have regretfully declined weddings I couldn't afford to attend. (33)X; 2X/3X = 0. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our, Press J to jump to the feed. This is true You have to demand the deposit back from whom you payed it to. lol. This is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, This is spot on. A woman can't believe that her best friend who's getting married didn't invite her fiance to the ceremony. and our I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account. Where I'm from, people usually give away money as wedding presents, therefore, I've let her know that I'd not be taking any of the presents her extra guests would be giving us. Half are now flying to the place we are getting married, and paying for their own plane tickets. We are doing a small wedding and only inviting 20 guests. Privacy Policy. Brian Skellenger. To view it, confirm your age. She's known you're getting married likely for months now. We started planning our wedding after being engaged for close to 1 year now, and we've reached the budgeting part, which is tricky to say the least. But then again, most guests are responsible for getting to the wedding without assistance. Please listen to the people here who have experienced this. That's my question. She kinda agrees with it being a small wedding, though, she'd like to invite family members with which she hasn't even spoken in years (to quote her: "they're still family overall, it's not nice"). She has been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are . ._2Gt13AX94UlLxkluAMsZqP{background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:contain;position:relative;display:inline-block} A few months ago we said to our family and friends that only a few select people will be making speeches, and giving them a fairly strict time limit. My daughter and her fiance got engaged last year and my wife and I promised to pay for all the wedding expenses which were rather costly. A woman and her fiance got invited to go on holiday by car, and it turned out they would have to endure a screaming baby and bad odors for the whole trip Image credits: 55555551i2 The original poster on the Reddit subforum embarked on a road trip with her fiance's family and it went quite poorly from the get-go. So I reckon they will compromise. The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. You're not the asshole. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px;-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}._2b2iJtPCDQ6eKanYDf3Jho{-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset;--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed}._3a4fkgD25f5G-b0Y8wVIBe{margin-right:8px} Anyhoo)., NTA OP. 787 top end rebuild; can you. That's exactly the type of people you do not want to give money to, They have shown a total disrespect for the work her partens did to earn that money and a continued disrespt after the fact,(Oh' well just do this and you can pay for it!-No! On the other hand, she didn't ask for more than what was remaining. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Assuming that you don't weaponize the fact that she misses the wedding. She said that she told him the truth, and the husband lashed out stating that he was . Judgement_Bot_AITA 1 min. Of course, when we go out and have romantic dinners (about once a week) I cover the cost, and we usually give each other gifts every month or so, but those are extras. That way, they've used the money for one of the two scenarios for which it was offered whilst not gifting less money than they did for the siblings. If the planning would have ended with me having more guests than she would've had, then I would've willingly covered entirely the cost of the extra guests coming from my side. Background. You only have so much of it to spend, so you have to make sure to spend it with the people you cherish and who cherish you. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. My father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 years old. "She will try anything to break you two up and try to make you miserable.". I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. There is ALOT of background info with about 6 - 7 years worth of information but the TLDR version is this: Back in September 2016, my mom matched with a person on an old person dating website. "She is planning her wedding (and let me know a few things she wanted for her special day): Since their future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding; I said: OK, it's your day. Run as fast as you can from this relationship and this family. Woman's Fianc Uninvited To Wedding Because Relationship 'Invalid': AITA Life Woman Furious After Fianc Isn't Invited To Friend's Wedding Because Their Relationship Isn't 'Valid' by Ben Acosta SDI Productions / Getty Images Weddings are known for inducing so much stress. NTA. AITA for paying for my son's wedding? NTA but there's an easy solution here. Do this over text and save any and . Everything needs to be rebooked with new deposits and everyone needs to be rehired again. It is actually just normal to pay for your own wedding costs. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} And you have free meal and free booze! Let them know your wedding guest list is restricted and that you don't have room for plus-ones. Do you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding (excluding travel and lodging of course)? Theres the spouse, kids, friends, parents. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I'm very happy that he has recovered and do want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because they do deserve it.
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